Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Facebook Ads (WTF?)

I got on the ol' fb to to see what was poppin' this morning, its still tonight for me since I have yet to go to sleep, but seeing as how its 5a, I'll call it "this morning." I get on Cityville, do my thing. Creep around on the NewsFeed, everyone else is in bed, except for my friends that are abroad and those that are already waking up to start their days, so its super boring. 

And then I see the ads. And I think, what the hell? Because this is what I see: 
Bricks4Kidz. Some kind of fun play thing for your children, kind of like Legos, but different some how. I don't have kids, so I didn't really read that much into it.
Picture that Gift. Click "like" to see how you can have Oreo cookies dipped in chocolate, and then PERSONALIZE THEM WITH YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOS. First of all, I do NOT want to eat a cookie that has a picture of my mom on it. Or a cookie with a picture of my room mates on it. I do not want to see faces in the food I'm eating. Who thinks of this stuff? Because really, if you want to waste your money on ignorant things like PERSONALIZED COOKIES, you can just send some of that excess cash my way. I promise to make better use of it.
Busy Kids. Rest mats for the children at the daycare I don't own. How handy! Now sown in a special way that keeps bacteria out! Woohoo! The image for the ad is super adorable though, its this little kid sleeping on one of these mats, and it kind of looks like the mats we used to have in Elementary school PE, you know, the ones that you tumble on. Good times. Well, not really, because I was always terrified that  I was going to break my neck, so I refused to participate. (Take that authority figures!)
FiberONE. This is probably my favorite one. "Chocolate+Fiber=Math We Can Agree On." Given that I'm about as good at doing math as a goat is at horseback riding, this really is the kind of math I enjoy doing. Yum+Yum=Omnomnom, yep no errors there. But I wonder, why am I, a 20 year old college student, getting ads for FiberONE? This is the food of the elderly, and people that hate themselves or hate themselves when they're irregular. That is not me, and I have never even googled the term "fiber." 

I'm not sure how they decide what ads to show where, but they aren't doing a very good job of selling to me. I don't need diapers, or formula coupons, or AARP help, I get enough of that stuff in the mail. (Explanations for those? Your guess is as good as mine.) Keep trying interwebz, you haven't nabbed me yet. 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

People Come and Go

Throughout my life, there have been a lot of people that came and went. 
Some were family members that I loved more than life itself. I'm fortunate enough to have a few grandparents and older aunts and uncles that are still with me, but the ones that left are the ones I miss the most. 
Some were fair weather friends, you know, the kind that are there when things are going good for you, then as soon as the situation gets heavy, they're out. 
Some have been those people I didn't care about in the first place, but I felt that they needed someone so badly that I was willing to suffer through being near them in order to be the ear that they needed. I am an enabler, really. I will do anything and everything in my power to help someone discover what it is they need to do to be the best person they hope to be. 
Some of the people that I thought were the most important to me have been the ones that left without reason. People that I had known for years and believed were my dearest friends were all too eager to be rid of me. Sometimes, things change- feelings change. We changed and grew apart. I can't say who was wrong or right, I can just say that we had a good run, and that I hope everything works out for them, but I wouldn't want to see them again.
Of course, some leave because they're life path takes them elsewhere. Maybe they transferred schools, graduated, got married, joined the military, etc. Of these people, there are a few that I truly miss every day. But I believe that if I'm meant to cross paths with them again, I will in time. 

What made me think of this?
A coworker that I really get along with decided it was time to go a different route. I'm not sure if we will ever see each other again, but I do know that what ever he decides to do, he will make it work, and for that, I give him mad respect. 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Creepy Coworkers

Coworkers are a fun and interesting people. They don't really know you at all, and yet they try very hard to understand your struggles and help you out as much as possible. Well, that's how my coworkers are anyway, for the most part. Sure, some of them only act like they give a shit for their own selfish gain, but I'll take it. Okay, this leads me to this evening's creepy coworker. I won't use his real name, just know that some of us in the deli call him Dante because he reminds us of the character from Clerks, you know, angry because of where he is in life and a real downer. Anyway, so I was closing with this other gal, Chelsea, and we were in the back taking care of the meat and compose buckets, when Dante walks in and says, "I'm sorry," as he stands in my path to the rocket cart. I tell him that I forgive him, and life goes on... 

Oh wait, just kidding. I tell him I forgive him, and he says that its not him I need to forgive, "its the bastards that forced me to wait until 10 to go clean the front hot case." Two things: I was completely unaware that he had seen me anywhere in the store before that very moment, and, he has a history of being terrifying. I just walked out of the room. Of course, he followed, but I pretended not to hear him. 

Later, he came over with a box of random deli stuff, and said "Merry Christmas." I said that it was a little early for gifts, but thanks. He then proceeded to tell me about his Army days for the umpteenth time. I was almost too glad to clock out today. I don't like this Dante fella. 

Monday, May 16, 2011

People that Bail

(To those of you who know me personally: This is just a rant, not an attack on any certain person. I promise.)

I hate it when people make plans to do something with me, and then they blow me off for something/someone else. Its makes me feel as if the plans they make with me are less important than something someone else came up with at the last minute and that they would rather do anything else than hang out with me. It makes me feel inadequate as their friend, or supposed friend. And most of all, it pisses me off immensely. I understand that sometimes things come up, like a test, or a grandma dies, or you sleep through the scheduled meeting time. But going out with someone else instead, or staying in with someone else instead after saying that you are sick and sleeping, is super shitty. Every time it happens to me, I hate the person more and more until at last I decide that they aren't worth my time, and I stop putting in any effort to see them. Friendships are a two-way street, and if you aren't willing to meet me in the middle, at a corner deli, then you aren't a real friend. 
Everyone slips up, even me. So I try to be forgiving. But repeat offenders don't deserve my forgiveness, and need to make a sincere apology. Maybe even a peace offering, depending on severity. I refuse to be a victim, and I will make them pay. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," its applicable to life in general, not just romance.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Animals around Babies

I love animals, really I do. But when you have a tiny baby, you shouldn't let your animals snuggle with them, or lick their faces, or sleep with them, or anything of that nature. Know why? Because an animal isn't aware that what it is doing could potentially KILL YOUR CHILD! For instance, a cat. Cats love warm things, so a baby is perfect. A cat can lay next to your baby, stick its claws/teeth into your baby, or sit on your sleeping baby's face until it dies. Isn't that nice? Dogs? Don't even get me started. Have you seen their teeth?! Talk about a hazard. And what about any illnesses they might be spreading? Who wants a sick baby? Birds, SNAKES, spiders, and other stupid pets you shouldn't have in the first place because they're scary? I'm not even going there. Bottom line is, having pets is fine. Having babies is fine. Having pets and babies in the same house is okay. Having pets and babies in the same room? That's just asking for trouble. Disgusting, shedding, biting, clawing, unpredictable because they descended from wild animals, trouble. Don't let your pets near your kids if you want them to live to have pets of their own.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Rape of the Proletariat

You know what really grinds my gears? Overdraft fees. Its like, oh what's that, you don't have enough money in your account? How about a 33 dollar fee that you definitely can't afford right now? Yeah, I really love that. I mean, its not like I work like a dog or anything to make what little income I have. And its not like I actually need that money to, you know, pay bills or live on until the next pay check. So, of course I would love to pay your ridiculous fees Overdraft fees aren't providing you with enough extra revenue? An online usage fee sounds like a good idea. I did the ecofriendly thing and went paperless, only to be charged fees for banking online. What the hell? Now I get charged if I don't have enough money AND when I do? Thanks a heap current bank, you're shitty practices have FINALLY helped me to realize that I should bank elsewhere. Maybe with actual people, instead of automated phone assistance. 

Friday, May 13, 2011


Ok, this isn't actually something I find irksome. In fact, its the opposite. 

So I went to see Thor yesterday at 4p. That's right, Thor at four on Thor's Day, I know, I know, I'm a dork, whatever. Having read exactly one comic with him in it, I was expecting to be totally lost and look like a complete n00b in front of my very well-versed in the comic world friends. But I was totally wrong! The whole thing was just fantastic. I looked for flaws, I know right? Me? Looking for something to criticize? Who would've thought... There weren't any. The story was easy to follow, Chris Hemsworth is more than easy on the eyes, and the whole Sir Anthony Hopkins/Odin thing? Best surprise since Leonard Nemoy had a cameo in Star Trek! I almost cried like three times, well I did cry at the end... But almost anything involving a parent and child will bring me to tears, the relationship I have with my mother makes me wont to becoming emotional when there's estrangement involved. Anywho, it was a great movie, that I will definitely be buying when it comes out on DVD. And I'm looking forward to The Avengers, if only to see Chris Hemsworth again... droolfest. 

Happy Friday the 13th!

Monday, May 9, 2011

About the Author

Sometimes I read a blog, and I wonder, "Who the hell is this person? And why should their opinion matter?" I get frustrated. So, to relieve any frustration my readers may have, although all of you that are currently following know me personally, I have shared some information about myself. If you think it looks like an online dating profile, copied and pasted, then re-edited, you might be right! 

About me:
I love to write, and sing, and take day trips to places I've never visited before.
I like to try new things and new recipes!!
I am a nerd. I may not look it, but I promise you, little awkward Sarah is in there, and she is a total dork.
I obsessively listen to Vampire Weekend.
I like to use commas to excess.
I don't like malted milk balls, regardless of the brand.
I am an avid Facebook user.
I don't sweat the small things, or the big things. Carpe Diem.
I am a socialist. Not a communist. Socialism is way different, and much less radical.
I like webcomics, especially Hipster Hitler, channelATE, and The Oatmeal.
I am spontaneous, funny, and charming.

What I'm doing with my life:
Currently, I'm working on getting my MAE for elementary education and paying off some student loans/my car. I plan on teaching kindergarten, my reason is simple: the kids are still teachable. There is potential for me to mold the minds of future leaders, and I know its a great responsibility, but I'm up for it.
I am a skilled deli worker at Walmart.
I take a lot of drives and go to a lot of parties.
I also enjoy crafting and thrifting.
I have an eye for a graphic design, but that happens when you work for three newspapers throughout your high school and college years.
What I'm good at: 
Writing, its my passion?
Buying things that look expensive for less than a dollar. You should see my hideous Christmas sweater collection.
Singing, at least that's what I've heard.
Listening/ talking. I'm a good conversationalist.
Being sarcastic. I've often heard that what I say can be hurtful, but I honestly never know when I'm taking it too far, and I apologize almost never.
Partying. But not so good at dancing.

People usually notice:
My teeth or my gigantic hair.
My hair is very curly, and quite red/blond/brown/not black.
My teeth are very straight.
I have fullish lips and very green eyes.
My vocabulary, people are always commenting on my usage of words.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
The future and all it has to offer, clouds, how cute children are, how the weather may affect driving conditions, where the flavor blue raspberry came from, current leaders in political offices, makin' bank, annoying songs about unicorns, how much I love kittens, friends I don't see anymore because they went to graduate school, Mike & Ike's, etc.

On a typical Friday night, I am:
Working, and then going out with my friends. We make plans to have good times. If I'm not at a party or mixer, I'm probably making a craft of some kind or baking. I have a knack for scarf-making, cookie-baking, and anything else you can think of that rhymes with "making." I also really like watching movies, lots of movies. Documentaries especially, or mockumentaries because they're the best. 

The most private thing I’m willing to admit:
I know all of the words to "Copa Cabana."
I'm very much afraid of the dark.

Well, there you go. This is me, so yeah. Boom. More snark to come, believe me. 

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Skype Inconsistencies in Regard to Connectivity

The thing is, I need Skype. I live six hours away from my family. I live six hours away from my boyfriend. In the summer, my friends live all kinds of distances from me. All I ever want is an opportunity to talk to my loved ones, and maybe see their faces. If seeing them wasn't the primary goal, I would just use a much more reliable telephone. But Skype constantly let's me down. At first, I blamed the internet, but when everything else is loading perfectly and at a high speed, its got to be Skype. And I'm one of those annoying folks that will submit a complaint email when something is off. So, the dudes at Skype are being bombarded by little messages from me telling them that the sound was off, or that the picture froze for the entirety of the time I was trying to talk to my great-grandmother. Is it too much to ask that the service be better when the people on both sides of the screen have perfectly functioning internet connections? I don't think so. 

However, I will continue to use Skype, at least until I find a better alternative. 

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Public Bralessness

Listen girls, I know, bras can be uncomfortable, and in the comfort of your own home, it is fine to let the puppies loose. But WalMart is no place for bralessness, nor is any other public place. As we age, gravity has this way of pulling things that used to be up, down. Your breasts are no different. While I'm sure your elderly spouse still looks at you like he did in the 1940s, I do not. I cannot see past you protruding nipples that point directly to your feet. Please, for the sake of all that is holy, put on a bra when you go out. Take pride in your appearance, you're not dead yet, so don't act as if your life is over. Dress up, dress down,  dress grungy, whatever your look may be, a bra should be included in your outfit. Do us all a favor and take the time to put them away. A bra with clasps takes roughly 30 seconds to put on, a sports bra, even less.