Hey-o!

So, my blog used to be called "Things That Irk Sarah," and then I got hitched.


I decided to make some changes, mostly because I'm not as easily irked here. Sure, the stress of living in the city, with no money, and trying to figure out how to be a wife can be irksome, but nothing worth blogging about. Now, the plan is to blog about my new life in Kansas City, and all the crazy things that Jason and I do.


I'll end this VERY short post with a quote from last night:
(Jason and I were sitting on the chair and couch respectively)
Jason: "Sarah, do you know how much I love you?"
Me: "How much?"
Jason: "So much, its immeasurable. So much, I can't even express it."


How lucky am I for meeting such a man?

Overwhelming Feelings that Overwhelm Me

Sometimes I feel super overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by work, overwhelmed by school and trying to get back into the swing of things, overwhelmed by everyone pulling me in every direction at every possible free moment I have, overwhelmed by the love I share with a man that I truly believe is my soulmate. 
So I keep on keeping on, through the drudgery that is the deli, which is always understaffed with no sign of relief anytime soon. Through the crappiness that is trying to get back into school, the school I'm trying to attend demands so many more forms, documents, proofs of identity, and email than Truman ever imagined requiring. I keep trying to be the best friend I can to everyone that I hold dear, while still trying to keep in touch with my family, a family that I have seen three times this year so far, and its hard. Adding Jason to the mix, though a worthwhile endeavor that I will never regret, even if he dumps me tomorrow, has made all this even more tricky. There is nowhere in this world I would rather be than with that man, and being with him seems to be the last place I can be right now. A lack of funds demands that I stay away, and his unfortunate car situation enforces this truth. 
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with sadness when I think about these things. I think about how much easier things would be if I made more money, or if I had less debt. I think about how different my life would be if I had stayed home like my mother had begged me to do after I had surgery. Let me tell you, it would have eased the money issue, but it wouldn't have helped anywhere else. I never would have been able to see my dearest friends, I never would have lived through what was, and may always be, one of the very best summers of my life. And most importantly, I never would have met the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. 
When I start to get down, I just remember these things, and that somehow I've always made it through before, and I keep on truckin'. I just hope that one day all this will come to an end that is as wonderful as I have imagined. 

Summer

I've got this little issue. Its a sun allergy. I get all splotchy and sickly and dead-like. The summer makes that occurrence far more frequent. So I was sick last week, vomming, coughing, sleeping for extended periods of time without leaving my room, but I just knew I was on the rebound, so I went to the lake with Chris and Natoshia. We had a very good time. But in the three and some hours we were in the water, I somehow managed to get burned to a crisp (shock of shocks) and I got some tasty lake water in my ear. It was there for two days, and the sunburn is definitely still around. I can't actually wear a shirt right now without wishing for death. My ears, infected. Both of them. 
I hate summer. I don't care if the days are longer, there's no school, and you can weekday drink. I genuinely hate summer. I anticipate the short days, long cold nights, and miserable snow storms of winter. They're fun. I don't get sweaty. I don't get attacked by malicious bugs. I don't get boiled by the sun. 

Bereavement

Okay, so this week was NOT the best week to begin with. First, two of my family members passed away quite suddenly. Then my place of employment wouldn't let me have time off to go home, because neither were immediate family members, and everyone knows that the closer you're related to someone, the closer they are to you. Right? Oh, wait, that's not right at all. Funerals are meant to be a celebration for the living, a chance to show those that survived the loved one that they too are loved. I was unable to be there for my Auntie Imogene, who's 90 by the by, and I love more than I love my own grandmother (her sister) all because her son isn't my "immediate family." Same goes for my Nanny Dee, who isn't even really a relative- just a woman that has helped to shape my mother's life tremendously, suffered a stroke, suffered the loss of BOTH of her children within two years of each other, and is still kicking more ass than I ever hope to. The problem with rules regarding bereavement is that, more often than not, the family member you miss the most doesn't fall into the categories covered. So now I'm going to take a two-day whirlwind trip home, strictly for the purpose of seeing two women that lost more than I can imagine having.

Sinus Infections

Last night was a fantastic time. I watched Mean Girls, ate some Jimmy John's, and drank with the roomie. But when I woke up this morning, I felt awful. Not hangover awful, sinus infection awful. My head feels like it about to explode gallons of snot and earwax across this room in a blast so powerful it blows the windows out. I thought I was dying when I got out of bed. Head spinning, unable to keep my balance as I tried to get to the bathroom, lips cracked from all the mouth breathing I had been doing. So I stumbled down the stairs with the laundry that I have to do today in order to have work clothes tomorrow. Threw everything into the washer, and laid down on the couch. I have yet to get up for anything other than a glass of lemonade with which to wash down a cocktail of antibiotics and antihistamines. Nap. Chris came over, made me some Hamburger Helper, checked to see if I have a fever (we still aren't sure, I'm way too clammy to tell.), then left. Nap. Jack Black movie marathon. Still feeling like death. 

Girls

Yeah, I hate them. They're annoying, clingy, loud, obnoxious, bothersome, moody, pissy, and all around not worth anyone's time. Sadly, I am one. The thing that gets me the most about girls though, is that they can never leave well enough alone. They just HAVE to talk shit, because peacefully coexisting would be far too difficult or boring or whatever. That REALLY bugs me. I have an incredibly dramatic life anyway, for reasons I'll never fully understand, because it sure as hell isn't my doing. But when bitches get all crazy because their boyfriends are being douche bags, I'm the one that gets the shaft. No joke. Its like, I know that I'm totally cool and laid-back, forgiving and shit. Or that's how it appears to the general public. In all honesty, I get this shit so often that I have literally stopped giving a damn. I couldn't care less if you are pissed at me because I forgot to close my bedroom door or parked too far from the curb or whatever else your twisted little mind has come up with to bitch about, tomorrow is another day, so shut up. And stop talking shit when I'm not around, because the people that are actually my friends tell me about it immediately, and then I know what a petty little bitch you are. Again, this happens all the time. So often, its tragically comical. Thanks for the laughs, enjoy your sad life.




(Note: I am NOT perfectly rational when menstruating, therefore this will not apply to those five days of the month. Thanks, Management)

Word Vomit

I'm in a rough place right now. I'm not depressed. I'm just sad. I don't want to do anything drastic, I just want things to be better than they are right now. I want to have more money, and more control of my money. I want to have fewer bills to worry about. I want to stop second guessing everyone and everything. I want to stop thinking for a minute and actually enjoy my life instead of feeling like I'm wasting everyday I'm living. I don't want to worry about people's reactions to the things I do. I don't want my actions to be questioned. I just want to live and let live and not have to worry about who I offend by not holding a door or saying "Thank You." Do any of those things really matter in the long run? Just once I would like for someone to notice that I did something productive. Just once I wish everyone would stop focusing on the mistakes that I've made. Just once I would like to stop focusing on the mistakes I've made. Its hard to relax when you have to constantly think about who you might have pissed off by not doing something right at work, or by putting something away incorrectly. It sucks when your parents know you're over-drafted before you do, and they know you don't have any money saved up, so they write you a check. Its sad when that's become the norm. Its sad when it takes every ounce of energy and moxie I have to just get out of bed at 3 in the afternoon, just to sit and waste another day and feel exhausted afterward. What is wrong with me? I mean, surely nothing worth having comes easily, and good things come to those that wait right? So, where is whatever I'm waiting for? I've been waiting for over 20 years for something truly fantastic and worthwhile, and all I get is disappointment. I have great friends, and a wonderful, if horribly dysfunctional family. That's not even true, I have wonderful members of a horribly dysfunctional family, and others that have been nothing but a life-long trial, something even Job couldn't have handled. I feel that everything happens for a reason, I just wish I could see what these reasons are. 

Just because my BFF is a dude...

We're not boning. In fact, the likelihood of that happening is so miniscule that it should be put out of your head at once. I mean yeah, we're attractive people that appreciate each other's attractiveness, but there's a mutual respect for the sanctity of our friendship that doesn't allow for infraction. He is the first person I go to to talk shit on people I'm dating. If we were dating, to whom would I talk shit?! Yes, things can get complicated. People think we're "an item" and he gets his undies in a bunch, but who cares? People are wrong about everything all the time. Its a part of life. A HUGE part of life. Then you die. To all the people that want to jump to conclusions, I say "Shame on you!" I don't think that you and YOUR best friend are constantly off having hot lesbian trysts, so stop thinking that we're all over each other when no one else is around.

My Period

Probably the most irksome thing to every woman on the planet, I hate my period and the week leading up to it. I'm on like three pills to have a period in the first place, and I'll be honest, when I didn't have one for like eighteen months, I missed it. But now that its back and regular, I hate it again. I can actually feel myself morphing into this super-bitch and there is very little I can do to make it stop. Its miserable. I feel bloated and fat and bitchy and I know that I am totally unpleasant to be around. Not to mention all the crying for little or no reason. I feel uber lethargic, and we all know that I love to sleep already, so I go from sloth to koala levels of sleep. Its in the best interest of everyone involved if I can just sleep and not be disturbed. I also get all these insane cravings for ice cream, chocolate, peanut butter, and Pringles. I don't know why I always crave Pringles, but I do. 


This blog is also an apology. I'm sorry to everyone that I offend monthly with my insensitive and ugly behavior. I'm sorry for the nights that I ruined by crying. I'm especially sorry to Chris, because he always gets the brunt of my rage. I have to tell you though, ignoring my sadness is not the way to get it to stop, it just makes me more sad and upset. Sure the other three weeks of the month I am sane, and know that all the things I did while on my period were psychotic, but bear with me while its happening. It'll make everyone feel better. 

People that Drive like Morons

I know, every now and again everyone does it. You cut someone off, you swerve into a lane because you realized you were going to miss your exit, you speed, you almost hit a cyclist or a pedestrian. Life happens.


But in larger cities that crap happens all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. It scares the crap out of me to see a car trying to get into my lane when we both know there isn't really space or time. Its terrifying to see cars driving across six lanes of traffic without even taking a moment to glance back and see if maybe a semi is about the plow into them. And it pisses me off. Is where you're going SO IMPORTANT that you CANNOTSTOPNOMATTERWHAT, not even if the world starts to collapse around you? Didn't think so. Whoever you're in such a huge rush to see would probably rather see you alive and well, rather than mangled in a body bag. Probably. Does it hurt anyone to let someone into a lane? Not really, those three seconds you spend slowing down 3mph for the other car don't really matter, and the road is so much safer for everyone, except those that aren't paying attention. 


You can always tell who's from the city you're visiting, and who the other visitors are. Visitors slow down when something happens suddenly, give someone else room to get into the exit lane, wave people in during a traffic jam, and have a genuinely overwhelmed look in their eyes as they try to figure out which exit it is that they need to take to get to the zoo. City dwellers have a different sort of demeanor, they're the ones that honk, yell, and express themselves with lewd hand gestures. They cut people off. They are constantly in a hurry to get from A to B, and will do anything to get there as quickly as possible. (I can't believe that every single one of them is like this, because I have a little faith in humanity.) I'd like to think that I'm somewhere in the middle; yelling, but still letting people in; silently wishing the person that cut me off ill; never honking, but always wanting to. I can't bring myself to act so immature publicly, so I just sit and smolder in my car, waiting for the chance to get to my destination and type out my feelings, rather than speed by the van that HAD to pass me, only to see that there was a huge line of cars in their way. 

Break Ups

Being broken up with is no cake walk, in fact, its a terrible thing. Often times, it happens in sort of a surprise way, and you begin to question your self-worth and the confidence you once had plummets. I know this. It sucks. But breaking up with someone isn't easy either. Realizing that someone you thought was a potential life mate is actually not what he seemed is almost as difficult. You have to play the waiting game and see if maybe these thoughts are being brought on by your period or something. If no, you have to figure out the best way to let them go gently, I can't do it any other way. This also sucks.
If humans could have the romantic lives of say, the carrier pigeon, we wouldn't have these issues. We could just go around, finding a mate, mate, bear offspring and go on. Of course, human young take the longest time of any animal in the history of ever to leave the proverbial nest, so maybe we should only go out on these sex hunts every five years or so. Hey, what are contraceptives for? Oh, that's right, the in-between babies times when you don't want to birth another child! It would be great, since the children would have different fathers, there would be a variety of personalities, so a mother would never get bored. Maybe the guys could pay into a big "Baby Mama" fund, I don't know I haven't thought that far ahead.

My Family- Whoa

I had a visit home earlier this week, and everything was the same as always. My mother was as overwhelmed by demands as ever, and my sisters were doing absolutely nothing to help her out at all. This is one of the only reasons I miss being home. My mom needs a sidekick to cover for her while she's working three jobs, and my 16 year old sister just doesn't cut the mustard. 
Here's how the trip started, I realized I was off for three days in a row, which is something that never happens. So, I decided it was high time to go on back to the homestead. 
DAY 1: I arrived at approximately 2a, slept until about 8a, then got up to go to see my grandparents for a Memorial Day barbeque. The waking up of the family was a fight, getting everyone into the van was a fight, and Rachel wound up head butting Janie by the time we got there. My dad drove separately, for a reason I'm still unsure of. We got to the grandparents at about 11, I left my computer here because I didn't think I would need it, boy was I wrong. Everyone fought the entire day over the two computers in the house, it was fantastic. We got home, everyone was sweaty and grumpy and tired, and of course, still bickering. We took a little wreath of blue flowers to my grandfather's grave, and of course, everyone fought the entire trip. 
DAY 2: My mother took Janie to get her hair did. While they were gone, the little chicks and I caught up on some much needed sleep. Then they got home, Janie didn't look any different, but whatever. We made some chicken noodle soup, Carly spilled it all over me, so did Rachel. We went out for Chinese, this time I drove, no one could agree on what Chinese place to go to, nor where to sit once we got to HoWah. The little girls made a ton of noise and embarrassed my mother, Janie did the same. I was ready to fall into a hole and pull Mom in with me by the time we got to the movie theater. We saw KungFu Panda 2. It was cute, made me cry a little. Then Rachel ran away, so Mom freaked out. We went to Walmart for more exciting public fights, then home to sleep.
DAY 3: I took Carly out to the Elementary school to get picked up for a special field trip. I also took her to get breakfast at Hoeckele's Bakery. It was a hoot. Then I drove home in blissful silence. It was glorious. 

Facebook Ads (WTF?)

I got on the ol' fb to to see what was poppin' this morning, its still tonight for me since I have yet to go to sleep, but seeing as how its 5a, I'll call it "this morning." I get on Cityville, do my thing. Creep around on the NewsFeed, everyone else is in bed, except for my friends that are abroad and those that are already waking up to start their days, so its super boring. 


And then I see the ads. And I think, what the hell? Because this is what I see: 
Bricks4Kidz. Some kind of fun play thing for your children, kind of like Legos, but different some how. I don't have kids, so I didn't really read that much into it.
Picture that Gift. Click "like" to see how you can have Oreo cookies dipped in chocolate, and then PERSONALIZE THEM WITH YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOS. First of all, I do NOT want to eat a cookie that has a picture of my mom on it. Or a cookie with a picture of my room mates on it. I do not want to see faces in the food I'm eating. Who thinks of this stuff? Because really, if you want to waste your money on ignorant things like PERSONALIZED COOKIES, you can just send some of that excess cash my way. I promise to make better use of it.
Busy Kids. Rest mats for the children at the daycare I don't own. How handy! Now sown in a special way that keeps bacteria out! Woohoo! The image for the ad is super adorable though, its this little kid sleeping on one of these mats, and it kind of looks like the mats we used to have in Elementary school PE, you know, the ones that you tumble on. Good times. Well, not really, because I was always terrified that  I was going to break my neck, so I refused to participate. (Take that authority figures!)
FiberONE. This is probably my favorite one. "Chocolate+Fiber=Math We Can Agree On." Given that I'm about as good at doing math as a goat is at horseback riding, this really is the kind of math I enjoy doing. Yum+Yum=Omnomnom, yep no errors there. But I wonder, why am I, a 20 year old college student, getting ads for FiberONE? This is the food of the elderly, and people that hate themselves or hate themselves when they're irregular. That is not me, and I have never even googled the term "fiber." 


I'm not sure how they decide what ads to show where, but they aren't doing a very good job of selling to me. I don't need diapers, or formula coupons, or AARP help, I get enough of that stuff in the mail. (Explanations for those? Your guess is as good as mine.) Keep trying interwebz, you haven't nabbed me yet. 

People Come and Go

Throughout my life, there have been a lot of people that came and went. 
Some were family members that I loved more than life itself. I'm fortunate enough to have a few grandparents and older aunts and uncles that are still with me, but the ones that left are the ones I miss the most. 
Some were fair weather friends, you know, the kind that are there when things are going good for you, then as soon as the situation gets heavy, they're out. 
Some have been those people I didn't care about in the first place, but I felt that they needed someone so badly that I was willing to suffer through being near them in order to be the ear that they needed. I am an enabler, really. I will do anything and everything in my power to help someone discover what it is they need to do to be the best person they hope to be. 
Some of the people that I thought were the most important to me have been the ones that left without reason. People that I had known for years and believed were my dearest friends were all too eager to be rid of me. Sometimes, things change- feelings change. We changed and grew apart. I can't say who was wrong or right, I can just say that we had a good run, and that I hope everything works out for them, but I wouldn't want to see them again.
Of course, some leave because they're life path takes them elsewhere. Maybe they transferred schools, graduated, got married, joined the military, etc. Of these people, there are a few that I truly miss every day. But I believe that if I'm meant to cross paths with them again, I will in time. 


What made me think of this?
A coworker that I really get along with decided it was time to go a different route. I'm not sure if we will ever see each other again, but I do know that what ever he decides to do, he will make it work, and for that, I give him mad respect. 

Creepy Coworkers

Coworkers are a fun and interesting people. They don't really know you at all, and yet they try very hard to understand your struggles and help you out as much as possible. Well, that's how my coworkers are anyway, for the most part. Sure, some of them only act like they give a shit for their own selfish gain, but I'll take it. Okay, this leads me to this evening's creepy coworker. I won't use his real name, just know that some of us in the deli call him Dante because he reminds us of the character from Clerks, you know, angry because of where he is in life and a real downer. Anyway, so I was closing with this other gal, Chelsea, and we were in the back taking care of the meat and compose buckets, when Dante walks in and says, "I'm sorry," as he stands in my path to the rocket cart. I tell him that I forgive him, and life goes on... 


Oh wait, just kidding. I tell him I forgive him, and he says that its not him I need to forgive, "its the bastards that forced me to wait until 10 to go clean the front hot case." Two things: I was completely unaware that he had seen me anywhere in the store before that very moment, and, he has a history of being terrifying. I just walked out of the room. Of course, he followed, but I pretended not to hear him. 


Later, he came over with a box of random deli stuff, and said "Merry Christmas." I said that it was a little early for gifts, but thanks. He then proceeded to tell me about his Army days for the umpteenth time. I was almost too glad to clock out today. I don't like this Dante fella. 

People that Bail

(To those of you who know me personally: This is just a rant, not an attack on any certain person. I promise.)


I hate it when people make plans to do something with me, and then they blow me off for something/someone else. Its makes me feel as if the plans they make with me are less important than something someone else came up with at the last minute and that they would rather do anything else than hang out with me. It makes me feel inadequate as their friend, or supposed friend. And most of all, it pisses me off immensely. I understand that sometimes things come up, like a test, or a grandma dies, or you sleep through the scheduled meeting time. But going out with someone else instead, or staying in with someone else instead after saying that you are sick and sleeping, is super shitty. Every time it happens to me, I hate the person more and more until at last I decide that they aren't worth my time, and I stop putting in any effort to see them. Friendships are a two-way street, and if you aren't willing to meet me in the middle, at a corner deli, then you aren't a real friend. 
Everyone slips up, even me. So I try to be forgiving. But repeat offenders don't deserve my forgiveness, and need to make a sincere apology. Maybe even a peace offering, depending on severity. I refuse to be a victim, and I will make them pay. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," its applicable to life in general, not just romance.

Animals around Babies

I love animals, really I do. But when you have a tiny baby, you shouldn't let your animals snuggle with them, or lick their faces, or sleep with them, or anything of that nature. Know why? Because an animal isn't aware that what it is doing could potentially KILL YOUR CHILD! For instance, a cat. Cats love warm things, so a baby is perfect. A cat can lay next to your baby, stick its claws/teeth into your baby, or sit on your sleeping baby's face until it dies. Isn't that nice? Dogs? Don't even get me started. Have you seen their teeth?! Talk about a hazard. And what about any illnesses they might be spreading? Who wants a sick baby? Birds, SNAKES, spiders, and other stupid pets you shouldn't have in the first place because they're scary? I'm not even going there. Bottom line is, having pets is fine. Having babies is fine. Having pets and babies in the same house is okay. Having pets and babies in the same room? That's just asking for trouble. Disgusting, shedding, biting, clawing, unpredictable because they descended from wild animals, trouble. Don't let your pets near your kids if you want them to live to have pets of their own.

Rape of the Proletariat

You know what really grinds my gears? Overdraft fees. Its like, oh what's that, you don't have enough money in your account? How about a 33 dollar fee that you definitely can't afford right now? Yeah, I really love that. I mean, its not like I work like a dog or anything to make what little income I have. And its not like I actually need that money to, you know, pay bills or live on until the next pay check. So, of course I would love to pay your ridiculous fees Overdraft fees aren't providing you with enough extra revenue? An online usage fee sounds like a good idea. I did the ecofriendly thing and went paperless, only to be charged fees for banking online. What the hell? Now I get charged if I don't have enough money AND when I do? Thanks a heap current bank, you're shitty practices have FINALLY helped me to realize that I should bank elsewhere. Maybe with actual people, instead of automated phone assistance. 

Thor

Ok, this isn't actually something I find irksome. In fact, its the opposite. 


So I went to see Thor yesterday at 4p. That's right, Thor at four on Thor's Day, I know, I know, I'm a dork, whatever. Having read exactly one comic with him in it, I was expecting to be totally lost and look like a complete n00b in front of my very well-versed in the comic world friends. But I was totally wrong! The whole thing was just fantastic. I looked for flaws, I know right? Me? Looking for something to criticize? Who would've thought... There weren't any. The story was easy to follow, Chris Hemsworth is more than easy on the eyes, and the whole Sir Anthony Hopkins/Odin thing? Best surprise since Leonard Nemoy had a cameo in Star Trek! I almost cried like three times, well I did cry at the end... But almost anything involving a parent and child will bring me to tears, the relationship I have with my mother makes me wont to becoming emotional when there's estrangement involved. Anywho, it was a great movie, that I will definitely be buying when it comes out on DVD. And I'm looking forward to The Avengers, if only to see Chris Hemsworth again... droolfest. 




Happy Friday the 13th!

About the Author

Sometimes I read a blog, and I wonder, "Who the hell is this person? And why should their opinion matter?" I get frustrated. So, to relieve any frustration my readers may have, although all of you that are currently following know me personally, I have shared some information about myself. If you think it looks like an online dating profile, copied and pasted, then re-edited, you might be right! 

About me:

I love to write, and sing, and take day trips to places I've never visited before.
I like to try new things and new recipes!!
I am a nerd. I may not look it, but I promise you, little awkward Sarah is in there, and she is a total dork.
I obsessively listen to Vampire Weekend.
I like to use commas to excess.
I don't like malted milk balls, regardless of the brand.
I am an avid Facebook user.
I don't sweat the small things, or the big things. Carpe Diem.
I am a socialist. Not a communist. Socialism is way different, and much less radical.
I like webcomics, especially Hipster Hitler, channelATE, and The Oatmeal.
I am spontaneous, funny, and charming.

What I'm doing with my life:

Currently, I'm working on getting my MAE for elementary education and paying off some student loans/my car. I plan on teaching kindergarten, my reason is simple: the kids are still teachable. There is potential for me to mold the minds of future leaders, and I know its a great responsibility, but I'm up for it.

I am a skilled deli worker at Walmart.

I take a lot of drives and go to a lot of parties.

I also enjoy crafting and thrifting.

I have an eye for a graphic design, but that happens when you work for three newspapers throughout your high school and college years.

What I'm good at: 

Writing, its my passion?

Buying things that look expensive for less than a dollar. You should see my hideous Christmas sweater collection.
Singing, at least that's what I've heard.
Listening/ talking. I'm a good conversationalist.
Being sarcastic. I've often heard that what I say can be hurtful, but I honestly never know when I'm taking it too far, and I apologize almost never.
Partying. But not so good at dancing.

People usually notice:

My teeth or my gigantic hair.

My hair is very curly, and quite red/blond/brown/not black.

My teeth are very straight.

I have fullish lips and very green eyes.

My vocabulary, people are always commenting on my usage of words.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

The future and all it has to offer, clouds, how cute children are, how the weather may affect driving conditions, where the flavor blue raspberry came from, current leaders in political offices, makin' bank, annoying songs about unicorns, how much I love kittens, friends I don't see anymore because they went to graduate school, Mike & Ike's, etc.

On a typical Friday night, I am:

Working, and then going out with my friends. We make plans to have good times. If I'm not at a party or mixer, I'm probably making a craft of some kind or baking. I have a knack for scarf-making, cookie-baking, and anything else you can think of that rhymes with "making." I also really like watching movies, lots of movies. Documentaries especially, or mockumentaries because they're the best. 

The most private thing I’m willing to admit:

I know all of the words to "Copa Cabana."

I'm very much afraid of the dark.

Well, there you go. This is me, so yeah. Boom. More snark to come, believe me. 

Skype Inconsistencies in Regard to Connectivity

The thing is, I need Skype. I live six hours away from my family. I live six hours away from my boyfriend. In the summer, my friends live all kinds of distances from me. All I ever want is an opportunity to talk to my loved ones, and maybe see their faces. If seeing them wasn't the primary goal, I would just use a much more reliable telephone. But Skype constantly let's me down. At first, I blamed the internet, but when everything else is loading perfectly and at a high speed, its got to be Skype. And I'm one of those annoying folks that will submit a complaint email when something is off. So, the dudes at Skype are being bombarded by little messages from me telling them that the sound was off, or that the picture froze for the entirety of the time I was trying to talk to my great-grandmother. Is it too much to ask that the service be better when the people on both sides of the screen have perfectly functioning internet connections? I don't think so. 


However, I will continue to use Skype, at least until I find a better alternative. 

Public Bralessness

Listen girls, I know, bras can be uncomfortable, and in the comfort of your own home, it is fine to let the puppies loose. But WalMart is no place for bralessness, nor is any other public place. As we age, gravity has this way of pulling things that used to be up, down. Your breasts are no different. While I'm sure your elderly spouse still looks at you like he did in the 1940s, I do not. I cannot see past you protruding nipples that point directly to your feet. Please, for the sake of all that is holy, put on a bra when you go out. Take pride in your appearance, you're not dead yet, so don't act as if your life is over. Dress up, dress down,  dress grungy, whatever your look may be, a bra should be included in your outfit. Do us all a favor and take the time to put them away. A bra with clasps takes roughly 30 seconds to put on, a sports bra, even less.